


The Galactical Joke

by CassieSky



Series: Holidays in SPAAAAAAACE! [3]
Category: Lost in Space (TV 1965), Star Trek, Star Trek: The Animated Series, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, April Fools' Day, Bad Jokes, Bad Writing, Children, Deception, Earth, Episode: s00e01 The Cage, Episode: s01e15-16 The Menagerie, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Funny, Gen, Genre Savvy, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Illusions, In-Jokes, Jokes, One Shot, Outer Space, Parody, Plot Twists, Pranks and Practical Jokes, References to Canon, Returning Home, Science Fiction, Space Battles, Space Whales, Star Trek References, Weird Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassieSky/pseuds/CassieSky
Summary: It's April Fool's Day in Space!
Series: Holidays in SPAAAAAAACE! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634611
Kudos: 1





	1. April Fool's Day in Space

Don West sat at the controls of the Jupiter 2, seeming dead serious. It may have been April Fool’s day, but the universe didn’t take breaks on holidays- he, as the pilot, had to be on alert. But in the Major’s mind, he was trying to think of the perfect way to prank the others… especially Doctor Smith. Don was known for his childish sense of humor, and this was one of the few times when it would come in handy. John, his usual piloting companion, had retired to his quarters to come up with a prank of his own. John was known among the family as the king of “dad jokes”, but his prank of confusing a galaxy for a solar system didn’t seem that funny to Don… although it had been sort of a running joke at Alpha Control back on Earth, and on the Jupiter 2. Judy was downstairs too, although her musical comedy routines weren’t very funny either. Maureen was an extremely talented practical joker, however, although she rarely showed it. And of course Penny and Will had a childish sense of humor. Smith wasn’t really going to participate in the holiday, but everyone seemed to want to pull a prank on him, and Smith’s behavior tended to be unintentionally funny to the others, when he wasn’t causing trouble. And then there was the Robot, who didn’t quite seem to understand the whole thing. 

Suddenly, the Robot, as if on cue, shouted “DANGER, DANGER!” 

“What is it, Robot?” asked Don. 

“There is a giant Space Whale, dead ahead!” intoned the Robot, in all seriousness. 

“Hahaha, very funny!” said Don. “That’s a good one, Robot!” 

“I have not been programmed for humor!” said the Robot. “There is actually a massive space whale directly ahead…” 

Sure enough, outside the viewport was a massive, whale like creature that lived in the vacuum of space, somehow. Don just narrowly swerved the Jupiter 2 to avoid it. He switched some dramatic action movie music on over the ship’s radio, it seemed like the appropriate choice. 

“I guess the universe was the one playing a prank on us this time…” sighed Don. “Sorry Robot, I should’ve known better.” After that, this region of space was back to being colorless and empty. But even though no one had been responsible, and Space Whales weren’t really even that funny, Don couldn’t help but laugh. It was moments like that which gave him solace from the usual monotony and/or serious danger of space. Sometimes truth was stranger than fiction. 

On the Lower Deck, Penny and Will were attempting to decorate the spaceship to look like a house on Earth, with a fancy assortment of random decorations that couldn’t possibly have fit into the ship at launch. 

“Oh, please mom, can’t we do it?” Penny asked her mother. “It’d be real fun!” said Will. “We can dress the Jupiter 2 up like a house on Earth, and make Doctor Smith think we’ve been on Earth the whole time!” Both kids smiled- they were so innocent, but Maureen knew how serious the matter of being lost in space with no way to find Earth really was, and how much the planet had meant to Doctor Smith. “I’m afraid not dears, that would be rather unkind. My, but I do like what you’ve done with the place!” she said, looking around the transformed lower deck. “Awe, you’re no fun!” said Will. But he changed his mind when Maureen played her own practical joke, pretending that she had a fourth child who somehow no one knew about! 

Some time later, the party had died down and the family sat around the Galley table for dinner. Doctor Smith joined the family, deciding it was safe to come out of his cabin, now that the festivities were over. As predicted, the Doctor was not amused by the façade of being back on Earth. For dinner, there were some of the Robot’s rather dangerous exploding pies, and a salad which allegedly contained the remains of the duplicate “Plant Judy”, a rather morbid joke. A Food Fight erupted, and the normally protocol following Robinson parents decided to give their kids a break from the work and joined in on the fun. Doctor Smith left the table early to retire to his cabin, which unbeknownst to him, had been covered with replicated “riches” by Don, which were actually synthetic and coated in a sticky substance. But the Doctor never made it that far. He paused at the Observation viewport and screamed. “No! It cannot be! It’s an illusion, a hologram, A BALLOON in space!” 

“A balloon? C’mon Doctor Smith, this isn’t Star Trek the Animated Series!” said Will, even though many of the things they had encountered were a lot more ridiculous than even the animated series. 

Smith wasn’t listening. He stared at the object outside in horror. “It cannot possibly be real! Just another one of your misguided attempts at humor! Well I refuse to be deceived! I know it’s not real! This is a step too far!” 

The others joined him at the viewport. None of them had planned it, but out there in space, was a familiar looking blue globe- the Earth! The others looked around, bemused.  
“Now we talked about this, pretending we’ve found Earth is not a funny matter, it’s serious!” said Maureen. But Penny and Will had not been responsible for this one. They couldn’t have been. It wasn’t some balloon or projection, it was an actual, full blown planet. 

“It looks awfully real…” said Judy. 

“Alright, I intend to get to the bottom of this, once and for all!” said John, back to being serious. “Is that really Earth out there, Robot?” 

“Affirmative!” said the Robot triumphantly. “That Planet is actually Earth!” The others broke out in cheers. They were finally home, they finally knew where they were. But surprisingly, the one member of the crew who always insisted random planets or asteroids were “Earth, sweet Earth, the motherland, home!” even when it made no sense whatsoever, refused to believe it this time. Doctor Smith approached the Robot, pointing an accusatory finger at his bubble. 

“It was you, you pusillanimous prankster! You did this to try and trick me! I know better, Zachary Smith learns from his experiences, and I’ve learnt my lesson! How dare you try to take advantage of our naïve space family like this! I’ll retune your emotion chip, just you wait!” 

“Come on, the Robot can’t be lying about this, Smith!” said Don. “I made that mistake earlier today, but he’s just not programmed to do something like that. Besides, that’s too advanced for any of us to simulate.” 

“I was doubtful too, but this just proved it. We’re receiving a transmission from Earth.” Said Maureen. 

The slightly different looking face of the old Alpha Control General, Squires, appeared on one of the Jupiter’s viewscreens. “The Jupiter 2? This must be an April Fool’s prank… Well, I’ve never much cared for humor, and claiming you’re a destroyed colony spacecraft isn’t very funny! Think of the children who died on that ship 3 years ago!” (Will and Penny couldn’t help but wave, but Squires didn’t notice. “ That will never be ***ing funny! Now tell me who you really are, unidentified spacecraft! I don’t want to waste Alpha Control’s time with this ****.” Apparently the Jupiter 2’s radio sensors were censored, there were children aboard, after all. 

“It’s really us, General.” Said John. “But is it really you!” Smith shot in. “What’s the difference between a galaxy and a solar system?” John asked. The old joke could work just as well as a secret code. 

“I’m not in the mood for your bad humor, Johnny boy!” said Squires. “You’re not the boss anymore! We’ve just received word that you’re harboring known galactic fugitive Colonel Zack Smith!” “Zack? How dare you!” said Smith. He was more offended by the use of his nickname than by the description of him as a galactic fugitive, apparently. But something was off. Squires would never refer to his subordinate officer as “Zack”, and he always called Smith “Doctor” rather than “Colonel”, ashamed that someone like Smith could ever have been in the Space Corps. 

“Anyway, according to our top expert, Captain Cragmire, you’re from an alien invasion! Prepare to be obliterated into Cosmic Dust!” said Squires. The screen changed to show the Robinsons’ old enemy, Joe Cragmire, some guy from the 1940s.”ACTIVATE THE HYPER ATOMIC CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he screamed. 

“Cragmire? But that doesn’t make sense, he couldn’t possibly still be alive!” said Don. “This must be some kind of April Fool’s prank, but it’s awfully detailed!” said John.  
“I would say I told you so, but I’ll wait until we’re out of range of that hyper atomic cannon! Unless there is no hyper atomic cannon, and it’s all another terrible joke? Hmm, I would rather prefer not to take any chances.” Said Smith. 

Don rushed to the controls, but it was too late, a missile was already heading right towards the Jupiter 2. Everyone stared out the viewport, awaiting their fate. There was a explosion!!!!!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK, SAME TIME, SAME CHANNEL!


	2. The Talosians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week as you recall, it was April Fool’s day! This week, on Lost in Space, it’s still April Fool’s Day! Even though in some places the story is actually published on April 2nd! But anyway, there was an explosion…

When the space smoke cleared, galactic fireworks spelled out APRIL FOOLS! And suddenly, the planet’s surface changed, until it no longer looked like Earth, but a different, barren wasteland. For once, Doctor Smith was relieved that the place wasn’t actually Earth- he preferred to be alive and lost than back on Earth and killed instantly. But who was responsible for this deception? It wasn’t a very funny joke…

The face on the viewscreen changed, to show three pulsating aliens in a cave with massive heads. They spoke telepathically, sounding very much like a high pitched version of a certain thief from outer space. “April Fools! Welcome to Talos 4! We scanned your minds and created this illusion based around a concept from your culture, ‘April Fool’s Day’.”

“Well, it wasn’t very funny!” said Will. “Yeah!” said Penny. “April Fool’s day is supposed to be for fun! You tried to trick us, that was just cruel!” Maureen looked on proudly “Indeed!” said Smith. “Begone, foul aliens! I saw right through your pitiful little trick!”

“Would you care to visit our space zoo?” Wondered the alien magistrate. “We would be very interested in hearing more about your customs, Earth family.”

“Sure, another time, maybe.” Said John, “Yeah sure, on Halloween…” said Don, activating the warp-rocket-hyperdrive and speeding quickly away from the false Earth.

“We never have luck appealing to the family market, Magistrate” sighed one of the Talosian alien, returning to their hibernation deep underground. “We are far too cerebral for their strange customs and concepts. We could always breed our own, superior family? If we could capture specimens, that is.”

“Well, the other Keeper warned us about this family.” Thought the Talosian Magistrate sadly.

Back on the Jupiter 2, Doctor Smith felt a tinge of regret about still being lost, but he also had the satisfaction of being right

“I knew all along that this was too good to be true. There’s only one Earth in all the universe, galaxy, solar system, whatever.” Said Smith. “And at least none of you were responsible for this simulation. You were all fooled, but I’ve been fooled far too many times in the past! I _knew_ it this time!”

“You’re right, Doctor Smith.” Said Will. “And we’re real sorry about trying to trick you.” Said Penny.

“Well, now you know how it feels to be deceived!” Said Smith. Everyone couldn’t help but laugh, Smith had tried to trick them (and succeeded) more times than anyone! The Doctor retired to his quarters, where he screamed when he saw Don’s little surprise. But Don was busy, talking to the Robot.

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand, Robot.” Said Don. “Why did you tell us that planet was really Earth? It obviously wasn’t, I’m sure your sensors could pick that up.”

“I was attempting an April Fool’s Joke of my own! HAHAHA”

“Yeah, that wasn’t very funny Robot.” Said Will.

“Not funny? That Does Not Compute!”

“I think the Robot’s humor computer needs a tune up!” said John, making light of a potentially dangerous situation. Everyone laughed again, even though this wasn’t very funny either. The Jupiter 2 continued on into space, towards new encounters and experiences which would probably be more serious than the “humorous” aliens they had just met…


End file.
